Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
My butt remains clenched, sir.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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