don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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