Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
