I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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