Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
