we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
its liver damage thursday
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize