I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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