how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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