I'm going to jail i love you
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
