somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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