I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
