Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
