This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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