I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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