he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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