I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize