i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
