Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Randomize
