apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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