therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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