After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
