I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
