You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
