it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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