margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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