He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
