I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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