you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
