i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
