there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
