Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
