they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
