dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just found a bag of teeth...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
