The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
