well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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