just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
