who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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