she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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