Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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