But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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