My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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