I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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