Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Still dying that you shit outside
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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