R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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