remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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