I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
