she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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