I bet he comes in French.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
there is glitter all over my balls
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