I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
