just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
