dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
