i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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