He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
