I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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