Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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