I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
