Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
