So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
